Women to women: Signs you are competing with the next girl and how to avoid it.
Are Women Really Catty or are We Competitive?
Assuming Rumors About Other Women
As a society as a whole we do a lot of gossiping. Something you may know, or think you know about another woman maybe completely wrong. First impressions are everything, if you are with your girls, you see a girl who is exposing to much, and your friend tells you. "Oh I heard about her". It's going to take a lot to change that bad impression about her. In media class, I learned a valuable lesson about life and how society works. If I showed you a series of images from a video; a wide shot of a woman sleeping in a bad, a medium shot of pill bottles on a bathroom counter, and a close up shot of a woman in a mirror. From these set of shots you would assume that the woman is sick. However, if I add a medium shot of an astronaut suit, your mind would automatically try to make since of this story. The same works for when your friend or colleague tells you a defaming story about a woman you don’t know. You would start make such conclusions about the girl you "heard" something about based on what someone told you. The next time you see her with a guy, you'll start assuming she's has something going on with him. However, the rumors of her can be completely false. Assuming is the worst thing you can do, when evaluating someone’s personality unless you are going to get to know the woman yourself.
Misconceptions About Being Competitive
We live in a patriarchal society, where the man is the most dominant force. An article entitled “Why Do Women Act Catty? The unhealthy way women act on healthy feelings of competition”, Dr. Lisa Firestone explains how it is more sociably acceptable for guys to express their competitive nature than women who are often shunned upon displaying competitiveness. This is only natural for a woman to feel uncomfortable when she wants something and has to compete to get it, because we are focused on how can reach our goal without our reputation taking a hit. “Women have historically been expected to be more covert or manipulative in their efforts to achieve success.” This quote from the article speaks to a real issue as women, because we are not able as a woman to directly express ourselves we feel the need to be manipulative or stealthy to get something we want. Healthy ways to overcome coming off as catty is to not engage in attitudes or behaviors that are intentional to hurt or undermine someone, and to also to compete directly what you want in life.
Judging a Woman for Her Past
Ladies, we have all experienced some adversities in our life. For example, issues with our partners hurting us, cheating on us, or lying to us. A reason a lot of girls are catty with each other has to do with other girls. If a woman has experienced a lot of infidelity this could cause her to feel insecure about her self and her relationships. This insecurity can have her feeling like every girl wants her partner and this may not be the case. However, what another woman does in her relationship is her business and her choice. Of course if she in an abusive relationship whether that be emotional, mental, or physical, you should definitely offer some assistance. But, if there is not you should worry about your life and your relationships. It was reported by a Social Issues Research Center that gossip accounts for 55% of men's conversation time and 67% of women's. Yes, we all gossip with our friends, about other couples and their relationships. However, if the couple breaks up some woman cannot separate that they are no longer with that guy. We all have to remember we are not the guys we have been with. Don’t fault the woman, that was in the relationship because 9 times out of 10 you have no idea what she has been through or put up with.
In order to not become catty with other woman. You must first realize you are human and you are competitive and that is a natural feeling. When presented with opportunities that you desire be upfront and directly try to reach your goals.